[man] Existence.
Well. what does it matter?
l exist on the best terms l can.
The past is now part of my future.
The present is well out of hand.
[boy] Get it.
lan.
Pass us the ball. will you?
knob cheese.
All right. lan?
lan.
Oh. you got it.
Today.
This is Deborah, you know, who l told you about.
From the youth club.
You can't be in my gang if you don't smoke.
Don't wanna be in your gang.
Neither do l.
l think we should go.
- Now? - Yeah. l wanna go.
Ok.
lan. we're getting off.
- Who's the writer?
- Who'd you think?
Glucose...
...plus oxygen... Carbon dioxide plus water.
You can clearly see here that the chemicals are currently out of balance.
Your task will be
to alter the molar ratios
in order to make the chemicals balance
before and after the combustion reaction has occurred.
Wouldn't you say that was so, Mr Curtis?
lan?
Come on. stop messing.
Uh. Mr Curtis?
What?
Sorry. sir.
Who haye we got today. then?
Mrs Brady.
- We done her before?
- Don't think so.
Let's hope she's got a sympathetic doctor. [chuckles]
[Mrs Brady] l mean, l like me neighbours. don't get me wrong.
Mind you. the stink of some of them.
l tell you, they don't wash
or don't know how to.
Stink. stink. stink.
Stink to high heayen of piss.
Mrs Brady, please can l use your toilet. please?
'Course you can. loye.
- Second on the left, down the hall.
- Thank you.
Where was l? Oh. yes.
[lan] lt says here Cirazapan usually prescribed for schizophrenia.
Side effects include drowsiness,
apathy. agitation
and blurred yision.
l'm taking two.
[woman] Oh. here we go. Who's that?
- Stop it now! Stop it.
- Hi. - Hi. Nick.
Nick. yeah.
Hi.
- lan. - Hi.
- Hi. - [dog barks. whimpers]
Oh. wow. a dog. What's her name?
- Tess.
- [lan] Hello. Tess.
Come around to speak to.
you know...
See if she wants to... for a bit.
- Debbie.
- Debbie. yeah. Yeah.
Debbie.
Hi.
- Hi.
- She's gorgeous.
Debbie. hi. Hi. Do you want to come in?
Hi.
My heart Ieaps up when I behoId
A rainbow in the sky
So it was my Iife began
So is it now I am a man
So it be when I shaII grow oId
Or Iet me die
The chiId is the father of the man
And I couId wish my days to be
Bound each to each by naturaI piety
- Did you write that?
- Wordsworth.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
- l'm really excited for this. - Yeah. Same here.
Neyer really into Bowie before, you know. but...
lt's a shame Nick couldn't come.
He did say l could go out with you.
He said it was all right.
As long as l looked after you.
Did he now?
Well, l didn't want him thinking we were going behind his back or anything.
That's a bit presumptuous, don't you think?
Why?
l might not haye wanted to go out with you.
[Ian] I wish I were a WarhoI siIkscreen
Hanging on the waII
Or IittIe Joe or maybe Lou
I'd Ioye to be them aII
AII New York City's broken hearts
And secrets wouId be mine
I'd put you on a moyie reeI
And that wouId be iust fine
l think we should get married.
Are you asking?
You're mine.
lrretrieyably.
- Am l now?
- Yeah.
And you know it.
lan?
l'ye got a brew for you.
lan?
All right. lads?
- All right. - All right. mate.
lt's a bit empty in here tonight.
- Tony Wilson's oyer there.
- Who?
Posh bloke from Granada Ty.
- Oh, yeah.
- One day he'll be recognising me.
- You'll haye to be out a bit more. - Yeah.
Been a bit busy.
Getting married. finding a house.
Sounds like fun.
- How's the band?
- Yeah. Not bad.
lt's not particularly good either. is it?
No. We're pretty shite.
Be a lot less shite if we could find a singer who could sing.
l'm really looking forward to seeing this lot tonight.
Apparently they tear up the stage and kick off mid-set.
- All right? - Gotta go.
- Take it easy. - See you soon. lan.
- Embarrassed of me or something? - No.
- He's all right, him, isn't he? - Yeah.
A bit tall. bit odd. but yeah.
[inhales] So you're really looking for a singer. then?
So. what do you like doing. Colin?
Watching telly.
- Apart from watching telly?
- Hmm. haying breakfast. lunch and tea.
Food?
Well. that's a start.
There's plenty ofjobs that inyolye food.
And watch telly.
- So you like food and watching telly?
- That's right.
Well...
There's a job here working at knutsford Cinema
behind the hot dog counter. How does that sound?
- l do not like hot dogs!
- Ok.
Well, should we giye 'em a ring anyway?
The fuckin' pubs are fuckin' dull
The fuckin' clubs are fuckin' full
Of fuckin' girls and fuckin' guys
With fuckin' murder in their eyes
A fuckin' bloke gets fuckin' stabbed
Waitin' for a fuckin' cab
You fuckin' stay at fuckin' home
The fuckin' neighbours fuckin' moan
keep the fuckin' racket down
This is fuckin' chicken town
- l'm a bit neryous, me. - [drumming]
Just with it being recorded and all that.
l mean, we're actually gonna be on a record.
l can play it at my gran's and eyerything.
How about you, Hooky? You neryous or what?
Am l fuck. man?
- What about you, lan?
- This is iust the start.
Steyen?
- No.
The fuckin' pies are fuckin' old
The fuckin' chips are fuckin' cold
The fuckin' beer is fuckin' flat
The fuckin' flats haye fuckin' rats
The fuckin' clocks are fuckin' wrong
The fuckin' days are fuckin' long
lt fuckin' gets you
fuckin' down Eyidently chicken town
Thank you.
Good night.
Right. Warsaw. we're on.
Fuckin' hell! Who's opened the ham?
You lot neryous or what?
[man] The next band of the night. folks;
- Warsaw!
You all forgotten Rudolf Hess?
lan. it's 400 pound.
Are you sure you want to do this?
l know. but...
The band are gonna pay us back.
Ok.
Let's haye a baby.
Ok.
Four hundred guid.
What are you lot called again?
We were Warsaw.
Now we're Joy Diyision.
Excuse me, but what happened to Slayes of yenus?
Ok.
- All right. Joy Diyision's good.
- Joy Diyision. eh? What's all that about?
lt's the name of a brothel German soldiers used during World War ll.
Well. whateyer. Studio's yours.
And it folds up to hold the record.
Haye a look.
Yeah. it's good that. Bernard.
Thought-proyoking.
That's right. Her name's Corrine Lewis.
ls 2.45 Thursday all right?
Ok, then, Mr Mathers, she'll see you then.
Bye.
Done.
He sounds keen.
l'll get some water.
[Ian] When you're Iooking at Iife in a strange new room Maybe drowning soon
Is this the start of it aII?
l'd neyer stand for that.
Being called something like ''the Buzzcocks''.
What are you on about?
l don't know. l don't mind the Buzz,
but calling themselyes Cocks.
l don't get it.
They're not calling themselyes the Cocks. are they?
They're calling themselyes the Buzzcocks.
Still got the word ''cock'' in it. though.
Just saying l wouldn't stand for it, that's all.
Shh!
[man] They were the Buzzcocks. If you didn't know. weII. now you do.
- As you'II soon know about these Iot...
- That's us!
...a Manchester band
caIIed Joy Diyision.
This is an EP.
An ldeal for Liying. And that wraps it up for tonight.
Keep the music coming in.
Ne week we haye The CIash. Iiye in the studio.
We'ye iust been on telly. lads.
So is Tony Wilson a fan, then. or what?
That was bollocks.
He didn't eyen say if he liked it or anything.
- 'Course he liked it.
- Well. how do you know?
He wayed it in front of camera like that.
Forget the record. He's got to put us on.
Hiya.
[Hooky] There he is.
[Tony] Um. iust orange iuice. please.
Go on. tell him.
Ok. how are you?
You're gonna go out there, it's all gonna be fine.
You're not up there haying a wank. Ok?
Think.
You're a twat, you are.
You're a bastard.
Am l? Why is that?
Because you hayen't put us on teleyision.
Well, then, you'll be the next band l'll put on. darling.
[man and Hooky argue]
Fuckin' right we're going on before your band. twat!
Your band ain't eyen a real fuckin' band.
- Fuck off.
- Hooky'll do your head in.
- Fuck off! - [puffs breath]
That was superb, that, lads. lt really was.
l'ye not seen a reaction like that
since George Best got kicked out for blasting a bouncer.
l know how you can be better... like that.
- Go on, then.
- Simple. You employ me.
You play. l manage.
We all get stinkin' rich
and go buy fuckin' great big houses in Cheshire.
- Job's a good 'un.
- And who are you?
Rob Gretton.
l already manage a couple of bands.
But they couldn't sniff the sweat round your bollocks.
You lot are somethin' else.
l hold my hands up.
l am a belieyer in Joy Diyision.
Fuckin' halleluiah.
l'm also resident DJ here.
which means l know anyone of any music biz use anywhere in this city.
l'll haye you lot signed within the month. ln fact.
l guarantee it.
We'ye already got a manager, hayen't we. lads?
- Who's that, then?
- Fuckin' me.
- What's your name, mate? - Terry.
- Terry what? - Terry Mason.
Terry Mason.
Tez. You mind if l call you Tez?
Tez, you know jack shit about this business.
Wanna know how l know?
'Cause l hayen't heard of you.
l bet you hayen't eyen got a fuckin' telephone. haye you?
Didn't think so. How will you book gigs
and cut deals without a phone, you daft cunt?
No offence. l call eyeryone that.
Look, l'ye got to pack up my gig.
Ring me.
Rob's Records. Rob speaking.
All right. lan.
Yeah. good. yeah.
Well. that's fuckin' brilliant. lan.
Well. l'll speak to you later. then.
Fine. l understand.
But you'ye got to sign with Factory.
This isn't an issue.
We're a fresh and exciting label,
you're a fresh and exciting band.
And, most importantly,
we both fly the flag for the Republic of Manchester.
- Don't giye a fuck about that.
- l'm a royalist.
- And l suppose they're Nazis as well.
- We're not Nazis.
- What about the money?
- lt's 50I50 on the profits.
You own all the publishing rights and can walk away at any time.
- You serious?
- Rob...
l don't fuck about with talent l want to work with.
l'll eyen sign the contracts in my own blood if it'll make you happy.
We'll speak later. then.
Now remember, we are liye,
so no swearing or they will cut you off.
- What about ''arse''? - What?
- ls ''arse'' a swear word?
- ''Arse''. yes. lt's a swear word.
- No, it's not. - Bernard.
out there l know ''arse'' isn't a swear word.
Here, in Ty land, ''arse'' is most definitely a swear word.
Trust me, l know all about swearing and Ty.
l'm a master of knowing when l can and when l can't.
What about ¡°big dog's cock''? Can you say that?
No.
Seeing as how this is the first teleyision programme
which brought you the first appearances from eyeryone from The Beatles to the Buzzcocks,
we like to think we bring you the most new and interesting sounds in the North-West.
They're called Joy Diyision,
a Manchester band
except for the guitarist who comes from Salford. A yery important distinction.
This is called Transmission.
l can't belieye you did it.
Must haye lost about half a pint.
Shows he's serious. though.
- How you feelin', Tony? - Mmm.
l'ye felt better.
Hold on.
You spelled Morriss wrong.
lt's supposed to be double S.
Tony, you're gonna haye to add another S to this. kid.
Do l haye to?
lt's not yery professional to spell the drummer's name wrong. is it?
Job's a good 'un. Thanks. Tony.
So...
...l can officially announce to the press
Joy Diyision haye signed with Factory?
Can you fuck?
l'll giye you a ring and arrange a proper meeting Monday.
Bit of a drama gueen. isn't he?
lan...
...please come to bed.
Right, Geoff, well, there's your reference.
Thank you.
- [Geoff] That's fine.
- Well. good luck with it.
- Thank you yery much. - [horn honking]
We are gonna be late. you know.
All right?
- What's up?
- Bloody dying with the flu.
He's all right, iust a bit of a sniffle.
He's fuckin' scared of playing London for the first time.
Chocks away.
Well. that was shit.
First gig in London, there's nobody there.
And now l'm freezing.
l told you it's broke.
Well, you're probably just too thick to work it properly.
lt's a heater, lan. You turn it on and it heats up.
And that one doesn't. 'cause it's broke.
Giye us a go on your sleeping bag.
- l'm dying here.
- Ten minutes. l'll giye you it back.
- No.
- Don't be so spoilt.
- l'm not. l'm dying!
- You'ye got a little cold
- Hey! - Fuck off!
- Pack it in, the pair of you.
- Ten minutes. l'll giye it back!
l'm gonna crash the bloody car.
- lan, you fuckin' menk!
- lan. calm it. mate!
- Fuckin' hell. - [grunting]
Pull oyer. Steye. pull oyer.
Hooky. guick. guick. giye us a hand.
- Yeah. l'ye got his knees.
Fucking hell.
- lan, what's up with you, mate? - [panting]
Fuck, l thought he was just trying to warm himself up.
This isn't right. this. Rob.
- What's the story, then?
- He's had some kind of fit.
Oh, right. They're cleyer, these doctors. aren't they?
- What kind?
- Epilepsy. They're not sure.
l thought epilepsy was only for head-the-balls.
- What?
- Head-the-balls. Spaccas.
Nice. Hooky. nice.
- So is he gonna be all right?
- He's not said a lot.
Well. if he were chatty we'd be worried.
[man] We'll try you on... carbamazepine...
...phenytoin,
tiagabine and oxcarbazipine.
to be taken with the, uh, phenobarbital that they gaye you at the hospital.
ln the meantime you'll be on the waiting list to see
a neurologist specialist at Macclesfield General.
You should also be getting plenty of early nights
and steering away from alcohol.
lt's a matter of trial and error
until the right drug or combination of drugs is found.
Some might work.
And... are there any side effects?
Carbamazepine's side effects include skin rash.
double yision. drowsiness. dizziness.
gastric disturbances...
That means farting.
Phenytoin's side effects include drowsiness.
acne. oyergrowth of the gums.
nausea.
yomiting. mental confusion.
mental slowing.
That's it.
[Debbie] lan, you're gonna be late for work.
[man] lan?
- [moans] - lan.
Uh, l'm sorry, Earnest. l must haye drifted off.
- [sighs] You all right? - Mmm.
lt's these tablets.
Yeah, well, them and the late night concerts. eh?
Listen. um...
l'm not sure you can do both iobs. lan.
so just haye a little think about it. yeah?
As your superyisor l do need you to haye a think about it. all right?
Hello. is Corrine there. please?
lt's lan Curtis from the Employment Exchange.
l was iust wondering how she'd been...
What?
Just like that?
From haying a fit?
l didn't know that could...
Oh. l'm so. so sorry.
[Debbie] lan, loye, l'm going to bed now.
Are you comin'?
[Tony] All right?
Hi.
They wouldn't let me in.
My name weren't on the guest list.
l didn't know.
Somebody should'ye.
lt's bloody embarrassing.
No. l didn't know you were pregnant.
- Hiya. - All right. Debbie?
- Where's lan?
- Congratulations.
Oh, don't look so shocked, Rob.
lt's been comin' a long time.
Hiya.
What are you doing here?
- She's a mate of Hooky's. - Right.
Hi. l'm lan's wife.
Hi.
Do you think it's right for you to be out in your condition?
lan.
[panting] lan.
- [woman] Come on, into the pain. - [grunting]
keep going... l'ye got the head. Debbie.
Well done. well done.
One last time.
- One last time.
- l can't.
Go on. Yes, you can, you can. you can.
- Good girl.
Go on.
Well done.
Good. That's great.
Ah. here we are.
lt's a girl.
Congratulations.
Mum and Dad.
Hello. Hello.
Hey.
l need a cig.
Silklands Nightclub.
Part-time barmaid.
One pound ten an hour.
Mum and Dad can look after Natalie.
What do you think?
Well. it won't be for long.
l'll take care of you as soon as the new album comes out.
Well, what happened to that tenner l gaye you?
Well, my wages are the same as eyeryone else's.
- Talk to lan, you know. Find out. - Mmm-hmm.
[woman] Ok.
- [Rob] No promises.
- All right. l'll ask him.
Look. l'ye gotta go.
Giye Natalie a kiss for me.
l loye you too.
Not bad. eh?
The journalist makes us out to be a bunch of pricks.
Who giyes a fuck?
A bunch of cool pricks, that's what l say.
- Who's that? - Some French bird.
Wants to do an interyiew.
She's not a Frenchy. She's. uh. she's a Belgy.
- [lan] What did you tell her? - l said l'd ask.
but it's unlikely to happen now.
lt's only a crappy European fanzine.
Well, l'm all right. Why don't we do it tonight?
We can inyite her back to where we're staying.
- What's her name?
- Annik.
Annik.
Different.
lt's foreign.
l'll haye a word. boss.
Annik? HoIa.
Come on. then. Let's haye it.
Ok. [inhales]
Ok, so, um... Do you like the Buzzcocks?
They're a good laugh.
Yeah, they're all right, apart from the ''cocks'' bit.
- There you go. - [kisses]
What is the most beautiful thing you'ye seen in your life?
l saw a beautiful drum kit down at Johnny Roadhouse's shop once.
[Annik] What about music? ls that beautiful?
Some of it.
What about Joy Diyision's music?
Some of it. yeah. but...
...some of it's not meant to be beautiful.
Does anyone belieye in loye?
l belieye in pure...
sex.
[Hooky] l belieye in feeling. yeah.
[Annik] What does that mean?
You know. like if l had a car.
and l felt loye for the car
and somebody kicked my car.
l'd be as upset as if they kicked my girlfriend.
So you're not a iournalist. then?
lt's a hobby thing. not a full-time iob.
l work for the Belgian embassy, for the chancellor.
Sounds interesting.
Free. independent woman.
l suppose so. yes.
Tell me about Macclesfield.
[sighs] lt's grey. it's miserable.
l'ye wanted to escape it my whole life.
What about your wife?
She loyes it in Macclesfield.
You were married so young.
l'ye neyer heard of people marrying so young.
Yeah. l know.
My marriage was a mistake.
- Are you tired? - Mmm-hmm.
- lan? - [sobbing]
lan?
What time are they coming for you?
Half an hour.
Right. l'm gonna nip to the shop.
Back in a minute. Ok?
You got your passport. lan?
Up the continental in the rental. Come on.
[Bernard] Fresh air.
All right. loye?
- Hi. - Hi.
l'll get in the back this time.
Hi. Debbie.
[Debbie] l must haye been out when you called.
- [Natalie coos] - lt was hard to get to a phone.
Come on. girl. [grunts]
Did you remember to take your pills?
Yeah.
- Are they working? - [cooing]
l had an attack in Berlin.
Oh. lan. if they're not working
we need to get you a doctor's appointment
to change the medication.
We really missed you.
Oh, there's this girl at work called Claire.
and, uh, she's inyited us to her flat warming party.
- Hasn't she? - [Natalie shouts]
And l said, um, that we'd go.
'Cause Mum and Dad can look after Natalie.
That way we get a lie in.
Don't we?
Daddy. Daddy's home.
- Do you like the Buzzcocks? - Yeah.
We're on tour with them as well.
[Claire] Don't know what you were worried about. He fits in fine.
But he can seem a bit distant to people he don't know.
Trust me.
Do you trust him when he's away?
- You know, with other girls.
- Totally.
He's so protectiye, you know.
He hates me wearing short skirts.
Goes mad if l talk to other blokes.
He is quite famous now, though. isn't he?
Not to me.
l still wash his underpants.
Do you want to sleep with other men?
What?
Do you want to sleep with other men?
That's a strange guestion.
Because...
if you did...
...it'd be Ok. l'd be Ok.
Are you being serious?
When you say a thing like that it makes me think
you don't loye me anymore.
l don't think l do.
[woman] BeIgian Embassy.
Hello. um...
Can l speak with Annik Honore. please?
One moment.
Annik Honore. boniour.
Steye!
Hey. kill it! kill it!
kill it. kill it.
- Something's up. - What?
Rob's got one of his cheesy grins going again.
You'ye been spending our wages, Rob. or what?
Come on, then, you twisted bastard. out with it.
lt's all happenin', boys.
Pack your bags. saddle up.
Nineteenth of May we're off to the US
of fuckin' A for a two-week tour.
- You're joking?
- We're gonna be contenders.
We're gonna be somebodies.
How'd you wangle that one?
l put a lackey band around Tony's cock and balls.
Did it drop off?
l thought we'd celebrate.
Bring them here. Terry.
[Steye] Nice one.
What are you doing in here?
Who's Annik?
Eh?
How long haye you been seeing her?
Answer me. lan!
Don't ignore me!
Eh?
How long haye you been seeing her?
Do you loye her?
Do you loye her. lan?
[sobs] l loye you.
l really. really loye you.
No one loyes you like me. [sniffles] No one.
Just answer me, lan! Please answer me!
l don't deserye this.
Fuckin' hell.
Sorry. Debbie.
l owe you eyerything.
l loye you.
What does that mean?
l'll finish with her.
Please.
- Eh-up. You all right, loye?
- Hello.
- Good to see you. - Hello. loye.
- Hello. Hi. - All right?
Steye. go and turn the heating off. l wanna get it colder in here.
Will you two twats get the fuck out of my studio?
- All right. - Go on. fuck off.
Got it. lan. lt's good.
lt's fuckin' genius. actually.
[Debbie] HeIIo?
l told her.
Fuckin' hell!
Twinny. come on. giye us a hand.
Come on,
take him your way. Take him your way.
Here. Twinny.
get him some water.
We're Joy Diyision, you're the crowd.
Good night. God bless.
- Was it a bad one?
- You'ye had worse.
Did Annik see?
Eyeryone saw.
That was superb. that.
lan. mate.
You played a fuckin' blinder.
Who won the fight. lan or lan?
lt's like lan knocked lan out to me.
Twatted himself with a right good uppercut.
- Brilliant!
Absolutely brilliant.
- Girls. girls. not now.
Hang on. Come with me. Come with the Hookster.
- l'll show you my... - [murmuring]
l'll go find Gillian.
Taking your medication?
For what it's worth.
Chin up. Could be worse.
Could be the lead singer in The Fall.
lan.
- Are you Ok? - Yeah.
- l'm so sorry. - l had a fit.
l'm all right now.
lan.
Debbie on the phone for you.
- Hello? - [Debbie] Hi.
Hi.
lan. you are so depressing.
l'm so happy to sit with you here.
Me too.
l don't know what to say.
l neyer felt this way before.
But... ...at the same time l feel like
l don't really know anything about you. and...
...you don't know me. and...
Well. what do you want to know?
Tell me your fayourite moyie.
l really like...
The Sound of Music.
- What?
- Nothing.
- Anything else?
- Your fayourite colour.
Mine is purple.
Blue.
Man City blue.
What is Man City blue?
Well. Man City is a football club.
And they wear blue.
- lan... - Hmm?
l'm a little scared.
Scared of what?
Scared of falling in loye with you.
[Natalie coos]
l'm so glad you're home.
l'll make you a cup of tea.
l don't want to hurt you. Debbie.
lan?
Come to bed. eh?
- Taken my pills. -
lan?
Ambulance. please.
Charcoal.
[man] Mr Curtis, l am here to tell you that you are well enough to leaye.
but you must get some rest for seyeral days.
Just be aware that your condition is extremely weak at the moment.
But l am discharging you.
Thank you.
Well. that's that. then.
[Ian] I don't want to be in the band anymore.
Unknown Pleasures was it.
I was happy.
I neyer meant for it to grow Iike this.
When I'm up there. singing...
...they don't understand how much I giye.
And how it affects me.
Panic's oyer. He's here.
Now they want more.
- They expect me to giye more. - Just enioy yourself.
And I don't know if I can.
It's Iike it's not happening to me.
but... someone pretending to be me.
someone dressed in my skin.
Now we're going to America.
I haye no controI anymore.
I don't know what to do.
- l was pissed. - [crowd cheering. muffled]
You're on.
- l need a few minutes.
- What?
Go and get Alan from Crispy Ambulance,
and fuckin' hurry up.
l'm sorry.
Take as long as you need.
How long do you need?
You know the words to our songs, don't you?
- Most of them.
What? - Get on.
First two tracks, Disorder, CoIony, till lan feels better.
Twenty guid.
- Serious?
- l look like l'm fucking iokin'?
Off! Off! Off!
Shit!
You all right. lan. mate?
Off! Off! Off!
Ready to go on?
- lan, talk to me. - [chanting continues]
- Ok. - Ok.
- Where's my 20 quid?
- ln my ''fuck off'' pocket.
Twenty guid. Go on.
l want 50.
You fucker.
Get Hooky off the stage now!
Get off! Fuckin' get off!
You. you fucker! Get the fuck out!
l don't get it. lan.
l don't get why you're doing this to yourself.
- lt's all coming apart. - No. it's all coming together.
Tonight was great. lt'll go down in history.
You remember Lou Reed at the Free Trade Hall?
- The riot?
- That's right. the fuckin' riot.
Best gig l'ye eyer been to.
lt all used to be so simple, eyerything.
Now eyeryone hates me.
l'ye made eyeryone hate me.
No one hates you.
- Eyen the people who loye me hate me.
- Debbie?- And Natalie.
- How can Natalie hate you?
- For Christ's sake. - She will.
though. l know she will.
You're a good dad. lan.
No. Tony. l'm not.
l know l'm not.
lf l was a good dad
, then l wouldn't be doing all... this.
And what about Annik?
She loyes you. You loye her.
- l hate her.
- And you loye her.
[Rob] You can't pin all that on us.
We didn't start the fuckin' riot.
Mate, you're pissing up the wrong tree here.
You think l owe you money for the damages?
Guess what?
l don't. So shut the fuck up and start suing.
'cause that's the only way you're gonna get a fuckin' bean out of me.
Wanker.
- [buzzer] - Who the fuck...?
- Hello.
- It's Ian.
Oh, fuckin' shine a light!
Aren't you in enough trouble?
- We need somewhere to stay.
- Try a hotel.
l'm skint,
and you still owe me some money.
Fuckin' hell! Haye l got Barclays tattooed on my forehead?
Get in.
Tea's in the pot.
bedroom's in there.
Spare noddys in the drawer.
ls this a bad time?
No! l'm just in the mood for a desperate social call - from you and Joan of Arc.
Yes?
Debbie! Great!
And what the fuck can l do for you?
Need some money.
a place to crash?
Fuckin' lightbulb need changin'?
And you don't know where he is.
QueIIe surprise.
Something about Derby?
Well, it's nice to know you two are talking properly again.
Listen, Debbie, l don't know where the fuck he is.
As usual. l know fuck all.
Don't l?
Rob. who are you talking to?
lan.
What. he's there with you?
ls she with him?
Yeah.
We're all here.
One big fuckin' happy family.
She wants a diyorce.
[Bernard] You can sleep here.
Stay as long as you like. lan.
- You hungry? - Yeah.
lan?
l'ye got an idea.
l'ye been studying hypnosis.
[Debbie] Ian?
Let me in. Ioye.
Just want to taIk.
[Ian] You're mine.
IrretrieyabIy.
[Annik] I'm a IittIe scared.
Scared of faIIing in Ioye with you.
[Ian] This has to be for good.
[sniffles] I'm sorry.
I owe you eyeryhing.
I Ioye you. [sobbing]
[Debbie] What does that mean?
[Annik] I'ye neyer feIt this way before.
[Ian] So it was my Iife began...
-[Debbie] I don't deserye this.
- [Ian] So is it now I am a man
I didn't do enough.
So it be you and I shaII grow oId
I shouId haye tried harder.
Or Iet me die
And I couId wish my days to be
Bound each to each
By naturaI...
Hi.
l miss you.
-[Annik] Is eyeryhing aII right?
- l don't know. Annik.
l don't know.
It aII feeIs wrong.
lan. you are confusing me.
l know.
l know l am.
[Ian] Dear Annik.
I know I'm intruding on your Iife,
not you on mine.
I feIt as if things were becoming a bit cIearer earIier on.
but can now see eyeryhing faIIing to pieces before my eyes.
I'm paying dearIy for past mistakes.
I neyer reaIised how one mistake in my Iife
some four or fiye years ago wouId make me feeI how I do.
I struggIe between what I know is right in my own mind.
and some warped truthfuIness as seen through other peopIe's eyes
who haye no heart,
and can't see the difference anyway.
Eh-up. you.
Come on in.
I saw Apocalypse Now at the cinema.
I couIdn't take me eyes away from the screen.
What you been up to. then. eh?
On the record, there's MarIon Brando
reading The Hollow Men.
the struggIe between man's conscience
and his heart untiI things go too far.
get out of hand, and can neyer be repaired.
Is eyerything so worthIess in the end?
Is there any more?
What Iies beyond?
What is Ieft to carry on?
[woman] lan, your room's still here.
You know that. don't you?
l know. Mum.
Thanks.
[Ian] I haye the feeIing the epiIeptic condition wiII worsen.
It frightens me.
It's a Iie to say ''I'm not afraid any more''.
There's nothing the doctors can do but try tabIets.
I feIt I had to teII you this
eyen though it might change your feeIings for me.
I'ye been thinking of you constantIy,
trying to rationaIise our situation.
thinking of the things we'ye done.
Images and thoughts prey on my mind.
before my eyes aII times of the day and night.
And whiIe some things are beyond my understanding.
I know that I Ioye you and wiII do foreyer.
UntiI I see you again,
I miss you with aII my heart.
AII my Ioye...
Ian.
-[Bernard] HeIIo?
- Hi. it's me.
- You aII right?
- l'm not coming out tonight.
Why not?
l'm gonna go home. Speak to Debbie.
Does she want to speak to you?
Dunno.
l just feel the need to speak to her.
WeII. if you're sure.
l'll see you Monday morning at the airport.
- You aII ready and packed?
- Not yet.
I'm not gonna sIeep tonight. I'm Iike a fuckin'kid.
Yeah.
Same here.
I'ye got aII my cIothes Iaid out on my bed and eyerything.
- l'll see you Monday.
- Don't be Iate.
Don't worry. l'll be there.
l'm off.
l'm gonna go meet up with Debbie tonight.
[man] CouId we haye your attention pIease. Iadies and gentIemen?
We are ready to begin now the saIe on behaIf of our bank
to disperse the repossessed property formerIy owned by a Mr Stroszek.
CoIoneI RaIph Wade wiII be our auctioneer.
I'II be serying as your cIerk.
We're ready to begin with the auction.
[Debbie] What are you doing here?
Don't diyorce me. Debbie.
l don't want to lose you.
lt's not that simple, though, is it. lan?
ls this really what you want?
No. No.
l don't.
But you loye someone else.
What's that got to do with us?
Eyerything.
You can't leaye her. can you?
lt's not that easy.
l'ye tried. She won't go away.
Well. then you'ye made your decision.
Go on then.
- What?
- Go on. leaye me alone!
lan.
Don't come back until the morning. l'll be gone by then.
Get out!
[Ian] So this is permanence
Loye shattered pride
What once was innocence
Turned on its side
A cIoud hangs oyer me
Marks eyery moye
Deep in the memory of what once was Ioye
- [Natalie cries] - l'll be back in a minute.
One minute.
No
No!
[sobbing] Can someone help me?
Anybody. please?
Can someone help me?